I know my tree

Recently, someone close to me talked about their depression. Specifically they talked about trees...
You ask yourself, what does a tree have to do with depression? Nothing by its self. For me, a tree was the way out, a purposeful death in an accidental way.
I remember my tree. It is on a road between Jacksonville and Benson. It sits in a curve on a highway, where you can get enough force going the speed limit to slide off the road and hit with enough force to have a reasonable expectation of meeting the end. I knew for some time what I would do, how I would do it, why I would. I kept it to my self, knowing that my family would be taken care of if it was an accident. No one needed to know, no one needed or could care. Everyone had their own issues. Id go away in a way that left no doubts and everyone could go on with one less burden...I was being noble and selfless.
As you are reading this it is apparent I never succeeded in my goal. Id like to say I came to my senses that day and drove past on my own. Or maybe found some strength I didn't know. That's a lie. I was rescued. Someone stopped me through phone calls and text messages, and threats. But they stopped me...
I still know my tree, like others I remember how id do it. My point to my friends is that there is nothing noble in death, its just easy. But its also easy for those around us to get so complacent that we don't see the pain of our familyand friends. Don't let those around you get to the point of finding their rope, or their gun, or their knife, or their tree.

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